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We should not be surprised if we continue on this path that in another generation we end up with a community who is either not getting married or having more sisters marrying outside their faith and children who become adults who think that having children on their own is the ideal instead of in a two-parent home,” writes Heather-Laird Jackson.“I know sisters who have started dating because they cannot take being single anymore,” said Sr.
Shuyukh with large social media following often bring up the topic on their timelines.
Women in their late 20s and early 30s, urged to be educated all their lives, settle into their careers or studies, suddenly become less desirable mates to some men.
Another phenomenon faced by several ethnic communities is that many educated men marry outside of their community, race and religion.
“'Oh my God, she wants to be married, she is so desperate – astagfirullah…' this popular statement comes mostly from married females when a single Muslimah shares with her that she wants to be married!! it's like, as a community, we don't have each other's back anymore,” laments Naeema*.
“Now, it became a taboo for a Muslimah to say 'I want to get married',” says Denise*. Women are being told that they are desperate, weak, and can't control themselves.” The delaying of the American adolescence experience or the new emerging adulthood stage has also contributed to the delay in marriage, especially, with the high school experience extended by local community colleges.
They are not as bound by the ticking biological clock factor and can usually (not always) find a wife when they get serious about marriage.
Nawaz Khan*, in his 70s, has coffee with his wife in the lobby of the Walter E. He is in tears, worried about his very well-educated daughter's prospects of finding a husband. He is amongst the many worried parents at the ISNA convention.Meeting venues and forums are few and this seems to be one major deterrent to suitable marriages.Adherence to cultural norms and expectations, generational disparity and the neglect of the Islamic standard for the choice of partners are also hurdles single American Muslims face.Men and women who really want to get married often face a myriad of issues in finding a good match.The issues are as diverse as the American Muslim community scattered all over the country.Al Rahmah Marriage Bureau in Baltimore has two women for every man in its database.