I don’t think my little sister will ever forgive me for losing my virginity. And when I’m confronted with that fact, I feel exactly like she did all those years ago. It loomed large over us all, like a thrilling, threatening ghost. ’ Counsellor Anna James, who specialises in family relationships, explains: ‘The way you talk to your siblings about sex – or don’t – depends very much on the way you were brought up.
They sleep in the same bedroom, like it’s the most normal thing in the world. When you have five little sisters, you cannot expect them all to take holy orders, or even to say, ‘Sex just doesn’t sound like my thing, not now they’ve invented Candy Crush.’ We were all raised as Roman Catholics – the kind who go to Mass every single Sunday, and are on first name terms with the nuns, so we all felt the presence of sex by its ordered absence.
It was just sex.’ She also reminded me that as teens, we used to go to the same place for a bikini wax, and the beauty technician would comment on the similarities and differences between our pubes, so if she were to imagine me having sex, the mental horror show was all too easy to conjure up.
Ultimately, I’m glad – I think – that my sisters have all grown into well-adjusted, sexually active adults, and that I think they’ve worked out what, and who, makes them happy. I only want them to have good, happy experiences with kind people, but I know from my own twenties that sex is always going to involve a fair amount of trial and error.
Of course I don't believe every age claim I see, nor should anyone else.
Heck even with the girls and guys doing video chat just because their profile says they are 18 it does not mean that they are not really 25.
If you are simply looking for some college sorority sex role play in the text chat room and someone claims to be 19 and they are 50 in real life, it doesn't make much difference really.
In fact you might get better text sex with someone who is not used to writing in all LOLs and BRBs.
And part of me felt that as my big sister, you were supposed to be setting an example, and I wasn’t sure what kind of an example that was.
But I look back now and think that maybe I overreacted a bit.
EUGHHHHHHH EUGHHHHHH EUGHHHHHH EUGHHHHHH EUGHHHHHH! I CAN’T even LOOK at you RIGHT NOW.’ Well, over a decade later, I am writing this on the kitchen table in her flat, which she shares with her boyfriend.
And if your siblings come to you with a sex question, take a deep breath and try to take an open mind.
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